Unrepentant

Unrepentant

I haven’t written an entry in over a week. I should feel bad, but I don’t. I’ve been busy working and getting ready for the holidays, and just living a good life. And I’ve been giving brief updates on facebook everyday.

So, whatever.

My life is good. The kids are healthy and mostly happy. Hubby and I are still grateful for each other. Work is great, and my work family is wonderful. The extended family is doing okay.

As is my usual mien, the Christmas shopping is left to the last minute. Poor Hubby will be wrapping like a madman on Christmas Eve, until late at night. Some gifts will arrive in the mail late. Most won’t. Some gifts will go over like gangbusters, and some will just earn a quick thank you and a quickly folded farewell.

I have ordered new glasses. For the first time, I need bifocals. I am slightly pissed off at this development, but I know it was inevitable. I just thought it was only for old people, and I’m certainly nowhere near old yet. Except on certain days lately.

I am continuing to lose weight. I have lost about twenty pounds and have about thirteen to go. It’s a pleasure to shop for clothes now, and that’s a joy I hadn’t felt for quite a while. I feel strong and healthy. Now that I’m older, the skin doesn’t spring back after the fat is lost. I am saggy and somewhat wrinkly. But I don’t mind. My years of abuse by the sun is catching up with me and that’s acceptable. Not desirable, but acceptable.

Lately I feel like I have entered middle age, or even late middle age. It seems that I have earned certain privileges, and am being held accountable for my past behaviors. I am at a good point in my life. I have everything I need, I don’t have to struggle for anything. The kind of peace I feel now is what I would wish for my children. But I know it only comes with time, and I realize it has to be earned.

Life has to be lived, mistakes have to be made, decisions have to be made without seeing into the future. I remember how hard it was to be young. There was so much to do and think about, so many choices that had to be weighed and thought out. I wouldn’t want to be young again for anything.

Just so you know, it does get better. In fact, life has its wonderful moments at any stage. Enjoy the ride. It does get easier.

Advertisements