Ever get a bad vibe from your best friend that makes you get a sick feeling in your stomach like you did something wrong, but you don’t know what it is?
If you did, remember how then you kept thinking about it all the time, and you think you kinda figured it out, but you’re not quite sure, but if that’s what it is, then your friend shouldn’t be mad at you about that anyway?
And then you got mad about it, and then confused, and then you just wanted to go back to the way it used to be and forget about all whatever it was?
Two friendships of mine seem to be limping to a sad end. And both of them are ending because of – well, I don’t really know, but I can guess.
With one of them, our husbands got into a pissing match and now they hate each other with the burning passion of a thousand suns. And with the other one, our sons got into a big fight at the friend’s house, and even though the friend assured me that things were fine and it was no big deal, it obviously was.
These friends don’t return my calls hardly anymore. We speak, but it’s just chit-chat. I don’t get invited to things. Neither does my son.
I know I’ve been a neglectful friend. I’ve had a lot going on in my life lately. I haven’t watered the friendship plant as much as I should have and now it’s withering. Now that all the weddings and stuff are over, even a last-ditch effort at watering won’t save it.
But I’m really sad about this. I get that aforementioned vibe, and I’m pretty sure I’m right in my assessment of it, although not all the way sure.
Never mind. I know what I feel is correct. It just hurts to admit it. It’s time for me to move on and create new friendships. If we ever find our way back to each other, great. If not, oh well.
I have to see one of them tomorrow at a team party. If things go well, I’ll attend her hostess party that I was by-the-way invited to the next day. If not, I’ll be done. Officially.
It just hurts. I hate this feeling. I thought I left this crap behind in sixth grade.