So I’ve been unemployed for over a week now. I have been keeping busy, mostly with watching Owen while Cait goes through her new job orientation. I’ve been applying for jobs and sending out resumes and making followup calls. I have an interview next Tuesday, but that’s it so far.
I’ve been feeling anxious about being unemployed. I am scared to interact with the public, knowing I have no protection if someone complains about me. For brief flashes, I remember how great a nurse I was/am, and how much I enjoyed working with people. But then I get nervous again, and I think maybe I should just sit behind a desk and not talk to anyone ever.
But that’s just not me. I don’t think I want to do ED anymore, and I certainly won’t work in an inpatient unit, and I know I can do ANYTHING I want to, but I really don’t know what that is yet.
I just know I need a job. My identity is so wrapped up in my career. I know it’s just one part of who I am, but without it, I feel like something is missing. I need to get back to doing what Iove. Plus I need that paycheck. It gives me such a sense of pride and self-worth to contribute financially, especially dice Bill supported me for so long.
Bill and I decided I need to be back to work by June 1. So I have a little more time to find something I love. If I can’t do that, it will probably be agency or ED, which I can do and get paid well for, but not get attached to.
I write this as I sit in the deck on a sunny beautiful day, watching Owen play in the kiddie pool while the dogs doze at my feet.
Why do I need a job again?