The Wringer

I feel as though I’ve been through the wringer lately. Dad had open heart surgery, Cait’s due any day, I start a new job Monday, Bill’s been out of town. I’m frayed around the edges and torn down the middle.

But my problems are nothing.

Dad keeps having small and large setbacks. He had a heart rate of 240 the second night postop and had to be cardioverted (shocked) back to a lower rate. He’s on IV antiarrhythmics so it doesn’t happen again, because the oral meds aren’t cutting it. His second foley got taken out and he couldn’t urinate and his heart rate shot up again. They put another one back in and he peed out almost TWO LITERS immediately. It’s killing me not to be at his bedside to help him through all this. I want him to have a swift and uneventful recovery, not this crap. At least he keeps moving. He walks with the cardiac rehab staff he’s already familiar with. He’s breathing well and is off the oxygen. He’s eating, but not much.

Caitlyn is hugely pregnant and could give birth any day now. She can’t keep any food down. She throws up frequently during the day, and reflux wakes her up with chest pain at night. And she still has that nasty cough. If she didn’t have an abnormally long cervix, that kid would be on the floor already.

Bill just got home from a three-day trip to Omaha. He’s exhausted and happy to be home. And I’m so happy he’s here. Yeah, he’s a mess and makes me crazy, but life really is easier when he’s around.

My new job orientation starts Monday and lasts all week, 8a-4:30p. I worry Cait will have her baby and I won’t be there. And Bill has another trip to St Louis Thursday and Friday, so of course she give birth then.

It just breaks my heart that I can’t be with Dad. I know he’ll be okay, but I want to help him and support him through this bumpy recovery.
And I want to be with Caitlyn, too.
And I want to do well at this new job.

Where’s that EASY button?