I didn’t have a hard day at work. But I’m frazzled nonetheless.
When one member of this family is having a hard time, we all feel it. It’s like we are a unit that has many tendrils. A tremor in one is felt by the rest.
But we sometimes don’t know one of us is having a hard time until we are told. We can’t help unless we know. So once again, we turn to a saying we frequently use: You have to ask for what you need.
Once that happens, help is on the way. Support is given. Burdens are eased. Stresses you thought you had to shoulder are distributed evenly among the members of the family. Life gets easier.
Don’t forget. We are a unit. And we won’t let one part of that unit fail.
We’ll be over Friday with the shampooer.
So I’ve been unemployed for over a week now. I have been keeping busy, mostly with watching Owen while Cait goes through her new job orientation. I’ve been applying for jobs and sending out resumes and making followup calls. I have an interview next Tuesday, but that’s it so far.
I’ve been feeling anxious about being unemployed. I am scared to interact with the public, knowing I have no protection if someone complains about me. For brief flashes, I remember how great a nurse I was/am, and how much I enjoyed working with people. But then I get nervous again, and I think maybe I should just sit behind a desk and not talk to anyone ever.
But that’s just not me. I don’t think I want to do ED anymore, and I certainly won’t work in an inpatient unit, and I know I can do ANYTHING I want to, but I really don’t know what that is yet.
I just know I need a job. My identity is so wrapped up in my career. I know it’s just one part of who I am, but without it, I feel like something is missing. I need to get back to doing what Iove. Plus I need that paycheck. It gives me such a sense of pride and self-worth to contribute financially, especially dice Bill supported me for so long.
Bill and I decided I need to be back to work by June 1. So I have a little more time to find something I love. If I can’t do that, it will probably be agency or ED, which I can do and get paid well for, but not get attached to.
I write this as I sit in the deck on a sunny beautiful day, watching Owen play in the kiddie pool while the dogs doze at my feet.
Why do I need a job again?
After a loooong day of food shopping, dropping off and picking up people, Decky’s book fair, watching Owen, making dinner, doing laundry, and Decky’s verrry late baseball game, I am exhausted. I feel like I’ve been literally running all day, and now I finally get to put my feet up and relax.
This is when I like to read alone on the couch with my feet up, but I don’t think my eyes will stay open very long. I will enjoy the quiet time, even if it’s just a little.
Because tomorrow it starts all over again. My busy life is good, but I sure would like a few days on a beach somewhere where I only have to be a girlfriend.
I have no picture to describe how I feel today, and I’m too tired to look for one.
How do I feel today? Well, right now I’m really tired and have a killer headache. I’m also very happy to be home with my men and I’m looking forward to reading to Decky before bed. I am dreading going to work tomorrow, but resigned to my fate. I’m jacked that I’m going to a sister hospital to work a try-out shift, because
I’ve been feeling very put-upon at work lately.
Mostly I’m tired and crabby. So no picture today.
Okay. I got nothin’. Two twelve-hour shifts has me beat. I have one day off, then two more in a row. After that, a busy week.
So cut me a little slack. No moon today. It’s cloudy anyway.