Category Archives: Holiday hell

Maybe I shouldn’t be blogging today

I’m in some kind of a mood. Maybe it’s not a good idea to write an entry today. But there are so many things on my mind that they cannot be condensed into a pithy facebook blurb.

The holiday season has always been a torturous mix of emotions for me. I suffer from extreme emotions, sometimes vacillating from one pole to the other, sometimes feeling a terrible melange of emotions at one time. It’s the best of times, it’s the worst of times. Yeesh.

Right now, I have a few things bringing me down. My eye situation has gone on for so long that I almost feel resigned to losing the sight in my left eye. It won’t happen (I don’t think), but I feel pretty hopeless about it right now. It affects my vision, so I am reminded constantly that it is still not healed. I see the rheumatologist Wednesday and the eye guy next week. I am doing everything I am supposed to do to resolve this problem. If neither doctor helps, I will ask my regular doctor for a CT of my head.

I also have become resigned to the fact that my family will never be all together again for the holidays. As they get older, my kids will find their own places to live, and have their own little families to put first. As my parents age, they will not be able to travel to Kansas. I know all these things are going to happen, but I still hate it. I feel more sharply during the holidays the absence of people I love who have died.

But I also realize that I will accumulate more grandchildren, more children-in-law as the years go by. There will certainly be more love in this family as it grows. More joy.

So…I will do things today that comfort me. I will bring out my old cookbooks and visit them like old friends. I will wear Gram’s apron while I make ice cream kolaczki and think of my sister. I will use fabric paint to write new names on new stockings to add to the collection hanging on the mantle. I will listen to Christmas music, and sing loud or cry, depending on the song. I will make a pretty comforting home and warm nurturing food for my family. I will put thought and care into gifts I select for the people I love.

I may nap. My heart feels like an open wound today. Time is my salve.

Halloween recap

Yesterday was so much fun! And so busy! Just the way I like it.

We spent most of the day cleaning and cooking. I vacuumed and washed the floors while Bill shampooed the rugs. When the house was clean, I started in the kitchen. I made a big pot of chili, some baked acorn squash, quesadillas, cornbread, and pumpkin yumpkin muffins. We used the bench for extra seating at the kitchen table so we could seat everyone.

Caitlyn, Koby, Owen, Dani, Tommy and Miles came over for dinner. Afterward, we all drove over to Nick’s house, so we could trick-or-treat in his neighborhood with him and his mom and brother. Ryan came home just in time to join us.

Miles and Owen did such a wonderful job going house to house! Owen was running, saying, “Run!” They both did their best at saying ‘Trick-or-Treat’ and ‘Thank you.’ Decky and Nick did too.

We all went back to our house for some pud-pud and ice cream, then the adults enjoyed some wine. The babies and their parents went home, and Bill and I took Decky and Nick out for another round of trick-or-treating. They each had quite a haul!

After driving Nick home, and avoiding the crazy neighbors’ party on the driveway next door, Bill, Decky and I relaxed and regrouped.

I finished up the cleaning this morning, then spent the day doing nonproductive things with Owen and Caitlyn. We shopped for new gym shoes and boots, and hand cream and soaps. We had a fun lunch at a new restaurant, then I went to their house to meet their new kitten Bean. Sweet little thing – lets Owen pick him up and carry him wherever he wants.

I think the three of us missed our occasional fun days out. Too much work and travel lately I guess.

After a dinner of leftovers, I took Declan to basketball practice. He is tired and kinda cranky, but he’ll feel better once he’s in bed for the night with his dog.

Work a half day tomorrow, vote, early dismissal for Decky. Pretty quiet, just right after our weekend trip and Halloween.

Last day of winter break

So it’s Bubba’s last day off of school. Tomorrow it’s back to the grind. I think he’ll be happy to be back – he loves his teacher and he loves school. And I’m sure he misses his friends.

It’s been awfully hard to keep him happily entertained, since the weather has been so darn cold. There’s a ton of snow out there, most of it undisturbed, just waiting for a boy to jump and sled in it. But it’s so cold lately, it’s not feasible.

So what has Bubba been doing for activity? Bookstore, inflatable play place, open gym at the park district gymnastics place down the street, open gym at the gymnastics center farther away, running on the treadmill with Daddy, helping me shovel, reading.

The TV in the front room is in the shop again, so we can’t play Wii or Rock Band or watch our new blurays on our new bluray player. Yeesh.

So when Bubba goes back to school tomorrow, I won’t be laying around playing video games or watching videos and TV. I’ll be cleaning. I have multiple household projects to tackle.

Hopefully, they’ll keep me away from the food.

Happy new year!

Worked all day today. Felt sicker as the day went on. Now officially sick.

I’m telling myself that it’s because I’m rundown. I fell hard off my diet wagon over the holiday, and now I don’t feel healthy anymore.

So if I just get back on the diet, and off the carbs again, I’ll feel better.

Right. Tell that to the hors d’ouvres that are staring at me from the kitchen counter.

I should just go to bed. I have to work again tomorrow anyway. Hopefully I’ll feel better after a full day of healthful eating.

Happy new year, and thank you for making this past year one full of love and laughter and joy for me. I wish the same for you in 2010.


It’s been along busy few weeks. So what’s new.

I am pleasantly exhausted from all the baking, shopping, wrapping, cleaning, etc. The house is still a disaster area, but not quite as bad as it has been the past few days.

I was thrilled to see the recycling and garbage mountains picked up from the driveway this morning.

Now I am looking forward to gradually putting all the presents away. And taking down the tree and decorations. And putting the furniture back where it belongs.

Then I can begin my New Year’s Purge. I bought a whole bunch of giant brown trash bags. Each time we enter the laundry room, or my closet, or the storage room, we will take a bag and fill it up with stuff. Then we will take it to goodwill or throw it in the trash.

As happens every year, I am determined to rid my life of all extraneous clutter. I feel physically and psychically weighed down by all the belongings we have. It’s friggin’ ridiculous. We don’t use even a quarter of the stuff we have, I swear.

We had a wonderful holiday. We rang the bell at Wallyworld for the Salvation Army, we made mountains of cookies, we had family out for visits. We had our first holiday party for friends, we enjoyed watching O’Baby and the kids open their presents. Once again, we were amazed by how blessed we are. We are truly the luckiest people ever.

Gotta go. I’ll try to blog more often if I can. Right now, I have to figure out how to transfer all my photos and files to my new Apple Macbook Pro.

w00t! w00t!