Category Archives: Hubby

Exciting times we live in

So many important things are going on right now, good and not-so-good, that keep me busy and thinking all the time.

My brother Greg survived a significant heart attack and subsequent double bypass open heart surgery.  Getting the call from my Mom was the biggest shock of my life.  But he’s a few weeks out now, the cardiac surgeon has released him from his care, and the cardiologist has set him up with cardiac rehab in a week.  Greg’s physical and emotional worlds have been rocked and he’s struggling to reconcile his old activities with his new limitations.  He’s doing so well.  I’m so proud of him.

Mom’s been his rock all this time.  She’s been busting her hump, trying to give him the support he needs, encouraging him to do more each day.  She’s on the front lines in this war recovery effort.  She’s a saint and we have to get her a really big gift this year.

Bill’s company was bought out and he started with his new employer last week.  So much frustration and uncertainty over small and big things.  I worry that he’s too stressed out.  I do what I can to keep things calm and comfortable around here, giving him loving support and meals that he likes.  He works so hard.

I’ve started to give my grandboys some learning opportunities while I watch them.  We have a Letter of the Week, with activities and hands-on projects, and I’m working on coordinating a weekly field trip.  It’s really hard to go out with three little men, but even if it’s to the playground, that’s something.  Doing preschool stuff makes me feel like I’m not just sitting on my butt watching them do stuff.  I’m actually working to prepare them for school!  And it brings me great joy when the ‘light bulb’ goes on and I can see that they’ve actually learned something.  They’re so proud when they succeed!

The Cubs have had their best year in so so long.  It’s been so wonderful to watch this season.  They seem so relaxed and happy, like they’re having a great time.  The Wild Card game is Wednesday, and I can’t wait!  Maybe I’ll make a poster…

Ryan and Michela are finally married!  It was a wonderful wedding, thrown by her wonderful family, and we were all so happy.  We danced every dance.  New moves were invented, toasts were given, babies were exhausted.

Stefanie and Kevin and Elliott are moving into a rental house in less than two weeks.  It’s a big step, and they’re so ready.  I can’t wait to see Elliott playing in his own yard with the dogs, Stef cooking in her kitchen, Kevin mowing the lawn.  And they’ll be so close by, too.  Yay!

Caitie has been dealing with so much crap, but still has manage to mostly keep her shit together.  She is currently looking for a new job, since the first one was not right for her.  I have faith that she will find something that will fit her needs and allow her to grow, build a clientele, and earn lots of money to support her boys.

Declan is so tall now, and he’s still growing.  His voice is low, he shaves, he wears the same size clothes and shoes as his brother and dad.  And he’s becoming more mature in other ways, too.  I know he could take care of any baby or kid in the world, and keep him/her safe and happy.  It’s in him and it’s wonderful.

The grandboys are my joy.  Owen is in second grade and has long blonde hair.  He can catch any ball you throw to him and run like the wind.  He is a wonderful boy with a strong love for his mom.  And he has no teeth in front.

Ollie is our sensitive one.  He wears his emotions on the outside, so he is joyful and goofy one minute, sulking and quiet the next.  He’s bright as they come and loves to learn.  I also heard him mediating a babyfight between the younger two the other day.  He was so calm and patient.

Elliott is his own man.  He is slightly smaller in stature than Theo the giant baby, but he holds his own.  He is smart and sweet and is excellent at all sports.  He’s not afraid to catch any ball!  I can tell he thinks a lot, and he’s got a great sense of humor.

Theo is a tornado.  He runs through the room, hair all bushy and disheveled, destroys whatever he sees someone playing with, then turns to you with a brilliant smile and reaches up for a hug.  He pushes the other boys’ buttons and laughs to see their reactions.  He snuggles hard and is a joy to be with.

Sure, not-so-good things happen.  Some days are diamonds, some days are stones.  But life is good.  With this wonderful family of mine, it’s certainly never dull.

Anniversary

I really didn’t know what I was doing when I married Bill.

I was young, I was pregnant, I was divorced with a small child, I had bad credit. I was attracted to him when we met. I thought he looked like a fun guy with a lot of money. I was half right.

I knew very soon that he was special, different. He had a confidence I had never seen before. I liked him and I wanted to be around him. We had fun together.

Before I left my first husband, I had lived according to the rules. I put aside thought and feeling and did what I thought I was supposed to do how I was supposed to do it. But something changed inside me. I suddenly realized that I didn’t want my daughter to grow up thinking she had to be unhappy. I decided life was too short for me and too long for her, and I left. I had no plan but to leave. I did it, and I was scared to death. And also the happiest I had ever been. I was free.

I started to live by my gut. I acted upon my feelings, trusting that things would fall into place. When I met Bill, I had no plan. I was just out to have some fun after being miserable for so long. But soon I knew that I could never be without him. I trusted my gut and rode out the rough times, sure that things would work out and we would be together and happy. I’m so glad I did.

We have been married twenty-four years today. Bill has changed in so many ways, but he still remains the funny, confident, handsome, intelligent, sensitive, goofy boy I fell in love with twenty-six years ago. Though I know him so well, he still surprises me.

I am a lucky girl. After so many years, I am still deeply in love with my husband. And I am happy.

Thank you, Bill.

I had a very good day

Yesterday, I didn’t have to work.

I feel like I’ve been working almost every single day lately. And I’m tired.

So yesterday, I devoted my whole day to fun with Declan and Bill. I slept in for a little while, then took Declan to his friend’s house for a little while. While he was there, I did my grocery shopping.

We made lunch at home, then went golfing. We found a great course out in DeSoto. It had a very tight short front nine with a lot of water hazards. I did so well on the front nine! I had a 200+ drive, and sank a 15 foot putt. I was on fire.

Then came the back nine. It was pretty much a par 3, and it wasn’t too hard, but I just kinda lost it. Suddenly, I couldn’t hit a decent drive to save my life.

We came to the last hole, which had its green on a circle island out on a lake. We decided we would hit balls until we landed on it. My first ball hit the wooden walkway to the island. My second landed in the lake. My third landed fifteen feet from the hole. Decky landed his fifth ball, and we ran down the hill to finish our game.

Four hours of beautiful sunshine and cool breezes, leaves just barely starting to turn, fresh air and great scenery. Even with the dead snake I almost stepped on, and the groundhog that ran across the fairway in front of us, you just couldn’t beat it.

Afterwards, we went to a noisy sportsbar for pizza. Bill and Decky wore their Miami Hurricanes shirts and cheered amidst a Kansas State crowd. We were so hungry and thirsty, everything tasted so good.

We got home, showered, and I read Harry Potter to Decky for a whole hour. After I tucked him in, Bill and I watched an episode of Dexter and went to bed.

It was a really great day.
Today I worked. Again. At least I had the memory of yesterday to get me through it.

Friends and family

For a while there, I was fretting that I wasn’t a good friend. Wasn’t attentive enough, wasn’t there for people. It was true, to an extent. But it wasn’t the whole picture.

My old friends and I grew apart. Their interests are not mine. I don’t like to shop, or wear fancy clothes, or watch Real Housewives. We don’t hang out with the same people. They are wonderful women, and I know they would still be there for me if I needed them, as I would for them. And I’d still like to hang out with them occasionally. But we are different and as our kids have grown older, it has become evident.

So then I wonder, do I have any real friends?

I realized today that the people I talk to the most, the ones I have the most in common with, the people I really, really like are my family. They get me, I get them.

Bill and I have grown up together. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and still loves me anyway. I am happy just to be with him.

My kids are some of the most wonderful, special people I know. Stefanie would give you the shirt off her back, and a couple bucks if she had some. And a place to sleep. She has a generous and courageous heart. Caitlyn is an exceptional mother and gives valuable insight. Ryan is a protector of the weak and has a strong moral compass. Declan’s wacky sense of humor and his offbeat thought process keep you on your toes. Owen demands and deserves the best from us and keeps us honest. Kevin and Koby are sons I would have chosen for myself.

My parents and siblings are people I could tell anything. My mother feels everything I feel, only more strongly. She is my emotional rock. My father has high expectations, but backs them up with big hugs. My sister is all out there for you to see and love. She lives her live courageously. My brother would take a bullet for any of us, then display it with pride.

I am fortunate enough to have in my life some very cool, funny, compassionate, smart individuals.

I work with many wonderful people too. I don’t call them my friends, but they’re much more than acquaintances. They are my work family. I don’t love them all, but I accept them for who they are, and I acknowledge their value to me. They are my brothers and sisters in my work world. They get me there, in that parallel universe.

So I do have friends. I even have some who aren’t family and who don’t work with me, just not many. But that’s fine with me.
I’m not an island after all, I guess.

News of the day

Thought I’d update since it’s been a while. And so much has been going on!

I am on my seventh week of methotrexate. I don’t feel anything but mild nausea, maybe a little inattention and spaciness, but that’s it. It’s no big deal. The iritis and scleritis are gone. The CT of my orbits and sinuses was negative, so there is really no reason for my behind-the-eye pain and headache. So I will just forget about them and carry on. I see my eye doctor and the orbit doctor next week, so maybe we can figure out why my left eye stays swollen.

Koby and Caitlyn are engaged and plan to marry toward the end of June. Her ring is beautiful and they are both so happy planning their honeymoon. We’re just psyched we get to have Owen while they’re gone!

Stefanie’s shower is this weekend. We have been planning and working on this for a while and it’s finally almost here – we’re so excited! Stefanie is gonna pass away when she sees what we have planned. I can’t wait!

Bill has figured out how to make separate playlists for his ipod so he can rotate content periodically, so he’s really happy. He’s working on this project for hours each day. I’m not so happy about this. He’s also in the best shape since he was a young man. He’s feeling great and I’m happy for him.

Ryan had the hardware in his leg removed and is now just about fully recovered. It was rough on him, but he got through it. I’m just glad it’s over and we don’t have to think about it anymore. He stays busy with work and friends and Michela. He seems happy but tired. I think he’s looking for a change.

Decky is busy drumming and playing tennis. He’s not been sleeping very well lately and I think it’s due to stress at school. He really doesn’t like it. They’re considering him for the gifted program, but the evaluation takes a few months. If he gets in, he’ll get out of his classroom for a while each day. I’m crossing my fingers. His second grade teacher is a fierce advocate for him. She’s a blessing to us.

Work is work. I gave my presentation to the nurse practice council last month, and now it looks like more people want me to give the talk to their departments. I don’t think I’ll be doing that until I get part-time status back. Why do all the extra work when I don’t get any credit toward the clinical ladder for it?

And I’ll be getting the veins on my left leg taken care of soon. I thought I would never bother with them again, but my brother has inspired me to do it. I have another thirty or so years left on these legs so I guess I better do the maintenance. I don’t want major problems down the road.

I haven’t been exercising lately because my eye pressure has been elevated. I’m hoping that gradual weaning off the steroid drops will resolve that issue, and I’ll be able to get back on the treadmill (or out on the trails) soon.

Cait and I leave for Chicago Friday, so we’re hustling to get everything done and settled before we leave. It’s stressful, but we’re going to have so much fun!