Category Archives: News commentary

September 11th again

I saw a relative of one of the people killed in NYC on 9/11 speak on the TV today. She said that it was kind of nice not to have the politicians around at the site, because she knew she was around people who understood exactly what she had been through, and they could remember and grieve quietly together. I like that. It belongs to them anyway, don’t you think?

And it boggles my mind that Decky wasn’t around for it. He saw a little bit of it mentioned on TV and turned to me with big eyes. He said, “9/11 was a terrible thing, wasn’t it Mom?” Sure was, son.

—————–

Today I went for an interview for an ED RN job at the hospital in which Declan was born. I was escorted into a very tiny, warm office in which three women were waiting for me. I did all right until I had to start talking about myself. Then I had a hot flash. A big one. I explained and apologized, and they got me cold water and made me take off my blazer. They were all going through it too.

Well, that broke the ice, and we ended up having a really good interview. The next step is submitting references and getting them checked out. I have a good feeling about this one.

—————–

But in the meantime, the Big University Hospital downtown is trying to get a hold of me. The nurse recruiter and I played phone tag all day. I must still be in the running for the job or she wouldn’t be putting forth such effort to reach me. It’s nice not to be ignored for a change.

If I had to choose between the two, I’d pick the Hospital in which I gave birth to Declan. It’s closer, and although it isn’t a trauma center, it sees more people than the other hospital, and the patients are sicker. I also have worked with the doctors there before, so I’ll know what to expect from them and what they expect from me.

Isn’t it funny that I didn’t get this close to getting offers until I was comfortable at a great-paying job with wonderful hours?

Also, my brilliant husband points out that I am definitely better off now than I was six months ago. He reminded me that I was not happy at my old job, morale was way down, and I was already looking elsewhere. Now I’m making more money, not working weekends or holidays, and get free lunch once a week. And I’m pretty sure two other hospitals want me.

It’s really nice to feel so wanted.

—————–

Dad’s getting open heart surgery next Monday. I couldn’t write about it yesterday because I was knocked for a loop. Sure I expected it, but still. A little wine calmed me down and today I’m not so scared. He is my dad, and he is mortal, and I don’t like that. I know this will be a tough thing for him to go through, but by Thanksgiving, he’ll be feeling better than he has in years. And I will do my best to support him as he recovers.

——————

Cait’s 37 weeks along with her pregnancy. She has a horrendous cough that is sometimes strong enough to make her vomit. Green tea with honey seemed to help her. And I gave her some hydrocodone so she can sleep tonight. It should calm that cough for a while. Poor girl.

I worry that she’ll go into labor when I’m in Chicago, so I’m not buying any plane tickets. I’ll drive, so I can leave at any time. I have to be there for her when she has this baby. It’s what the two of us do. With Owen, I was able to stay with her for hours while she labored and it was so special for me. I wouldn’t miss doing it again for the world.

——————

So right now Cait and Dad are bouncing around in my brain. The next few weeks will be stressful. But we’ll all manage. And after Dad’s surgery and Cait’s birth, things will level out again. New stresses will pop up, but we’ll just take things as they come. Like we always do. There’s plenty of love to go around.

Anniversary

I really don’t want to go to work tomorrow.

I just want to stay home with my men, maybe have Dani and Miles and Tommy over, maybe Cait and Koby and Owen, and Ryan. Dani could cut all our hair. I could make a big dinner. We could have Fire Night on the deck with the chiminea and make s’mores. The boys would love it.

But I have to work. I have to put in twelve crazy busy hours and be on top of my game. We are already down two nurses out of five, so I can’t call in. And it will doubly suck because of what day it is.

September 11, 2011. The tenth anniversary.

I wasn’t there, I don’t know anyone who died there. But it affected me deeply. I was pathologically compelled to watch the news channels 24/7 for months afterward. I cried when I watched the first tower fall while I was on the phone with Bill. I thought of getting my kids out of school and bringing them home to me. I became anxious.

How will I feel tomorrow? I don’t know. Since I realized I can’t call in sick, I decided to try to readjust my approach to the day. I’m just going to attempt to carry on as if nothing is different. And actually, nothing is. People will still get sick, seek drugs, break bones, and come in to our ED. And I will still be expected to give them the best care I can.

But I’ll probably have a news channel on a TV in an empty patient room, if there is one. I’ll probably be half-holding my breath all day, waiting for what I hope will not come. I will be anxious. I hope I don’t get snippy or short with people.

And I hope it is steady, not too busy. But busy enough for the day to go by quickly.

I guess if I have to go in to work, I’d like to just get through it and get it behind me. Let’s hope for a peaceful, uneventful day.

A very non-PC point of view

I am so sick of breast cancer.

I think it’s stupid, all the pink crap I see everywhere, especially in October. Pink football shoes and towels, pink mixers, pink everything-in-the-world-that-has-absolutely-nothing-to-do-with-cancer.

Raising awareness is a good thing, but when is enough enough? How will a pink pair of shoes make the public any more aware of breast cancer than they already are? And what about the studies that show that people are being over-treated due to the hyper-awareness of early breast cancer testing?

How about shining the awareness light on another worthy health cause, like diabetes, or heart disease? Or HPV, which 75% of the population carries (even males), but only half the population has insurance that covers vaccination against? Or autism? Or stroke? Or lazy eye?

I have had enough of the pink stuff. In fact the only thing that would make the Kardassian family more aggravating to me would be dressing them in pink.

I say enough. Follow the guidelines for testing. Nurse your babies. Exercise and eat right.
And wear whatever color you damn well please.

PTSD

I was telling Decky all about 9/11 this morning. I walked him through it all step by step. I wanted him to know what happened, since he was in my belly at the time.

His eyes got big. He had a lot of questions (What’s new.). You could tell he was sick about it.
And I choked up during the telling. It felt so fresh and new. And the perspective of nine years brought into light how awful it really was.

Of course I remember. Don’t even bother to ask – we all do. And we all remember how we felt – and still feel – about it.
But life goes on. Lessons are learned. And we are grateful for what we have and who we love.

And it’s a beautiful day.

Objectivity

One thing that infuriates me is the fact that I cannot find a NEWS station or NEWS paper anymore.

All the so-called current news stations are in fact opinion stations. Objectivity is long-gone and forgotten. I don’t care if it’s a right-leaning station or a left-leaning media outlet. I just want a source that reports only the facts – the objective, measurable, verifiable information that we can’t seem to get anymore.

How about a dry, middle-aged adult reading us the news? Painstakingly making sure that he/she is only stating the facts – the truth? Is that really too much to ask? How about a print journalist who verifies the facts then reports them without opinion, like in the old days?

I’m praying for the inevitable backlash against news bias to come soon. When it does, I will whoop and holler and jump for joy.

(If you couldn’t tell, I spent all evening in the living room with Bill, while he watched FoxNews. I don’t know how I got through it without a fight. I will be grinding my teeth in bed tonight, that’s for sure.)