This was taken on the Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge in October of this past year, on a cold, cloudy morning. This bridge is an architectural wonder that connects Nebraska to Iowa. Although we were cold, the beauty of the scene warmed us.
Sometimes I don’t bring my A game. To work, to my family interactions. I am a lazy friend.
I don’t even always realize it unless it’s pointed out to me – by a mistake, by overlooking something, by seeing things slip away. But by that time it’s almost always too late to do anything about it.
When I’m on my A game, and I mostly am, I am better than most people at whatever it is I’m doing – being a nurse, mothering, being a good wife, housekeeping. But when I am off, people notice.
I set my self-expectations too high. And consequently, the people around me share them of me. I found this is a bad thing.
So I try to take it easy on myself. When I make a mistake, I forgive myself instead of stewing too long about it. Well, at least I’m working on that.
Now I just have to get everyone else to take it a little easier on me too. Or maybe I should just not take criticism so hard. Whatever.
Just one more thing to work on.
I’m itching to change things up around here.
I want to have my living room and breakfast room painted eggplant. Deep, dark purple. Not burgundy, not brown, not navy. Certainly not beige.
I know it would look beautiful and elegant. Regal even.
Now the tough part – convincing Bill that this is a wonderful idea.
I am so lucky to be a mom.
I love being a nurse. I love being a wife. A daughter, sister. A friend.
But I am truly lucky to be a mom.
I get to watch my children succeed on a daily basis.
I get to be the first to see important things they do.
I get to listen to them and figure out how their minds work.
I get to just watch and shake my head when they do things that amaze me.
I get to be the one who gives the hugs when they need them.
I get to kiss my kids any time I want to.
And sometimes, if I’m really, really lucky, I get them to kiss me.
When Dad came up for breakfast this morning, he was not wearing his ‘heart patient’ bracelet.
He walked with O’Baby and me to pick Bubba up from school. And made it.
He made wise food choices all day, resisting unhealthy snacks.
He cracked open a diabetic cookbook, and even read a little of it.
He tried new things.
He went to the casino.
Baby steps, people. Baby steps.