Category Archives: Vacation

Exhausted beyond reason

I just took a benadryl. Not that I needed one to get to sleep – I have itchy legs from hacking through the rough trying to find my balls on the golf course today. It’s been a very loooong but wonderful day.

We got up way too early (Decky) and got to the apple orchard before it opened. Luckily the owner let up go pick, but since the tractor wasn’t running yet, we had to walk uuuuup and dooooown the huge hill both there and back to pick apples. It was fun and it was beautiful. A lovely chilly sunny fall morning in hilly rural Iowa. There weren’t many apples left but we got what we could. Then we had hot apple donuts before we left.

From there we went to the small town of Fremont, Nebraska, where Decky discovered the joys (?!) of antiquing! Seems like Pawn Stars has turned him on to all things old. He especially liked an old plastic toy rifle. Yeesh. I fell in love with a beautiful yelloware planter with green and blue glazes and intricate patterns carved on it. Not $68 in love, though. I left without buying anything, but it was fun.

The golf course in Fremont was hilly and the fairways were very tight. Bill did very well and so did Decky. I started out badly but ended up mediocre. I had one drive to the green on a short but narrow downhill hole, and ended up with my one par of the day. Poor Bill was fighting some heel pain (probably from all the walking we’ve been doing, especially on the hills), but felt better after some naprosyn.

After golf, we were sweaty, tired, wind-crusted, thirsty and starving. We made our way to Old Market in Omaha, where we devoured the best burgers ever in record time. It couldn’t have been pretty. And the burgers might not even be as good as we felt they were, in our desperate state of hunger. But we felt so much better afterward.

We then took Decky for ice cream and we all had hot fudge brownie sundaes, you know, to counteract any exercise we had done all that day. We fought the food coma long enough to get back to the hotel. Then Bill left for the dog track. Decky had a long swim in the hotel pool, then showered. I read to him from Harry Potter for about a hour, and now he’s in bed. I can’t believe he’s still awake. He will sleep like the dead tonight. We all will.

Tomorrow, we will be visiting the Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge over the Missouri River. It’s a serpentine walkway that’s supposed to be an architectural wonder. We’ll get Decky a tshirt that says, “I Walked the Bob!”, then head on home to KC. We’ll probably do some other activity, but we’re not sure just what yet.

Decky’s had the best weekend ever! I’m so happy he’s having such a good time. He’s such a great kid.

Tanned, rested and ready?

So Hawaii was wonderful. Beautiful weather, best food we ever had on a vacation, old friends, and best of all, a lack of household duties. Hubby and I ranked it as one of our top three trips, and that’s saying something.

Wanna hear a funny vacation foundation undergarment story?

I knew you would.

Hubby and I were at the fancy awards dinner. I was wearing my black fancy dress, and my new foundation undergarment (without which I couldn’t have worn the fancy black dress).

Inevitably, I had to use the ladies’ room. I got into the stall, and having never worn this kind of undergarment before, had no idea how I was going to remove it to pee.

No idea.

I ended up taking off my whole dress, and removing the entire undergarment in order to relieve myself. It took a while, and I’m sure there was audible huffing and puffing and cursing.

My friend was in the next stall and finished way before I did. She thought to herself, “Sounds like there’s some trouble.”

When I was sitting down on the toilet, I noticed the crotch fasteners. Figures.

I emerged, face reddened, slightly disheveled, a little later, feeling much better and a little smarter.

I concluded I would wear the foundation undergarment again if needed, and when going to the bathroom, I would do the same thing all over again. There’s no way I could have maneuvered the hooks and loops in the crotch of that thing.

Can you imagine? What would I do? Knock on the stall, “Hey, how about a hand over here?”

I don’t think so.